The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sext me about skeletons
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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