Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
