DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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