Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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