At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
