I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
