I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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