did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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