If i come over, it means nothing
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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