ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
