Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
