Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
