Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
