it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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