btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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