my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
