I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
