I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
