that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I smell like Dick and happiness
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