i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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