So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
