is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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