That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
