Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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