i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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