either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
