omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
