my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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