y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
