On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
