i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
