last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
