He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
