if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
