i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
