if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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