Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
