called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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