So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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