she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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