I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
