my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
