Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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