Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
