just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
