Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
