we were pretty classy up until the second keg
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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