Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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