Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
