WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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