shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
