I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
