I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
