A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I queefed so loud it echoed.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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