She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
