We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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