So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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